Kids say the darndest things...



Yes, I am aware I am doing Friday Confessional on Monday, but I wasn't inspired to blog on Friday.

Yesterday was adventurous....to say the least.

*Sunday morning about 9:30 my cell phone rang.

*Because I don't answer numbers I don't know I wait for the voicemail to ring through.

*As I'm listening to the message I start having a little panic attack as one of the councilers in the bishopric is asking me if I got the message that they wanted me to speak in church today.

*Obviously he's joking.

*Who leaves a message for someone to speak in church?!

*Especially when said someone dropped their phone in a sink full of water a few weeks ago and so it randomly works.

*Uhhh...NO!  No, would be the answer, I did not get that message.

*I calmly called him back and told him that besides my primary class, I would not be giving any talks in church today.

*His reply "We'll get you next time"

*Good luck with that.

*After church we discover there's no sour cream in the fridge and my sister in law needs it for the poppy seed chicken.

*Being the gracious tenant that I am I volunteer to go to the store.

*Secretly I wanted to go because I needed chocolate and in a house with 5 kids there is never any chocolate.

*It's like they have a 6th sense.

*Last Sunday I found my youngest nephew hiding in my closet with 3 candy bars and a handful of kisses I had stashed.

*Later, we had our home teachers come by for a visit.

*Thats how you know its the end of the month.

*He is talking about examples and proceeds to ask Cooper, the oldest of the 5 children, if he wants to serve a mission.

*He explains that some of the choices Cooper makes are going to set the example for the younger kids,

because they'll want to be like him.

*I make a joke that his little brother Paxton is already like him because they both have big ears.

*That's who I am.  I'm the jokster.

*Until, Paxton came along.

*Paxton: "We also have matching butts."

*Yep.  THAT just happened!

*After a few minutes of literally ROFL, their mother explains they have matching birthmarks.

I'm so sad I'll be moving out soon.



Girl Code



I read a blog post yesterday that really got me thinking about some things. Basically this girl was shunned because some popular girl in school told people to be mean to her. And they listened. Read the post. It. Was. Brutal.

http://thelolaletters.blogspot.com/2011/01/30-days-of-truth-day-8.html

That's when I realized I am 32 and I still deal with middle school drama.  I have a "friend" who has a sworn mortal enemy.  We are talking Autobots VS Decepticons.  DEFCON 1 when these "ladies" run into eachother.  It gets pretty annoying because I am expected to carry as much disdain for this person as she does.  And that's a lot of baggage.  I pack light.  I'm not the type of person to hold a grudge.  I don't even hate people who have personally crossed me as much as I am expected to hate this person.  She thinks I'm not being a friend if I'm nice to this girl.  I think she's not being a friend by expecting me to act in a way not conducive to the person I aspire to be. 

So, when do you stop following girl code and start following your own moral compass?



My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil



I confess....

* While everyone has been running around and crying on FB about the astrology signs changing, I was more like "who the freak cares?"

* And that's why I'll always be a Scorpio.

* I need a Man.

* Someone sent me a code for 6 months of Match.com for Christmas.

* I have yet to use it.

* I just keep thinking what if I meet this awesome Man on match.com who I'm madly in love with and in turn he is also madly in love with me and we have a fabulous life together.

* I know your thinking "duh! That's the point right?"  Right!

* However, I'll always be thinking in the back of my mind "we met online and THAT is just weird"

* Seriously what kind of story is that to tell your kids?

* "Once upon a time a lonely girl and a lonely boy logged on to the world wide web and exchanged emails..."

* What would that fairytale even be called?

* I also can't bring myself to delete the email with the magic code that may or may not change my life.

Ralph!



* Calgon take me away!!

* I didn't want to confess my sickness.

* But it's taken over my life.

* It's hard to blog about something else when all I can think about is this ache in my guts.

*  Unsure if the ache is because I'm starving due to lack of solid food or if it's the little green guy from the Mucinex commercials that has taken up residence.

* I have successfully infected the entire household.

* Im sure their glad the let me come live with them :)

* Why is it that kids cannot grasp the concept of throwing up in the toilet?

* You can't fit the couch cushion in the washing machine.

* And no amount of frebreeze will make it ok.

* Hopefully I live at least another week if only to confess something better than throw up.

What ARE they?



* I got called to be a primary teacher in my ward.

* I'm a little scared.

* Their 9 years old.

* Maybe a little nervous.

* There's 4 of them.

* Scared and nervous?

* And their all boys!

* Did I mention I'm completely terrified?!!



people watching = judging?



I may be a bad person.  Or as Ryanne so eloguently put it last night "we're going to burn in Hell". 

Last night I went to the movies and since we were going to the theater that was on the work side of town, not the home side of town, I just hungout at work (checked my FB) a few extra minutes and then went early to the movie theater.  I highy recommend doing this.  If the movies had staggering start times so that there was always people in the lobby I wouldn't even need to see a movie.  I could literally sit there and people watch for hours.  Some of these statements may seem a tad on the harsh side but keep in mind only a few were spoken out loud.  I give you:  Random thoughts from a shallow mind.  Don't judge me, you do it too!

When did feathered bangs come back in style?

His pants are wayyyy tooo tight....he has to be gay.

Holy Hell that baby is tiny!  Did she come straight from the delivery room?

You cannot go halfway on a look people!  If you do your hair and make-up like your going to strut the runway, you cannot wear a velour track suit. 

Why is that lady carrying around that mini oxygen tank?  Shouldn't she have the hose on her face instead of in her hands?

When did the combo price jump from $10 to $12?  Don't they know the economy is still bad?

She overpaid for that jacket!  Maybe it was a Christmas gift?  She's still paying with her dignity.

Am I the only person in the world who is still holding out on the whole skinny jeans trend?

Well check out the Kim Kardashian wannabe. 

Oh.  My.  Flower.  Tights.  That is just 18 variety's of wrong!

Burning in Hell?  Maybe.  Fun?  Absolutely.  Where is your favorite spot to people watch?

"but privately....he hit it."

Maybe I am just that unoriginal, but I love to quote movies, tv shows, music, commercials, or people in my life who say stupid things (there's a lot of them).  Last night I was out with friends and the quotes just kept coming.  It was one of those nights.  I laughed so hard.  I'm surprised nothing came out my nose.  This morning I am paying for it.  I feel hungover, or what I imagine hungover would feel like.  Everything has pain.  Even my eyeballs hurt.  When I walk, I can literally feel my brain shifting positions in my head.  But it was worth it.  I'll take a comedy I've seen a dozen times over a drama or action movie any day.  I love funny and I love to laugh and I love SNL.  Enjoy!