Online dating 101. . . .

Can't say I'm excited about this topic.  But I know people who have had success and with my opportunities only narrowing from here on out I took the plunge.

First off the profile picture:

Cliff jumping in Hawaii is not your real life.  That was one day three and a half years ago.

 Also, men who include photo's of their children on their profile...no, stop it.

Girl's are no better.  I once saw a guy's profile that said "If you have a profile pic that is zoomed in to only your face or angled in such a way to hide your fat, don't bother messaging me".  

Who told our secret?!!

Interests:

No wonder your single, you're too busy biking, boating, camping, fishing, hiking, paintball, rock climbing, snowmobiling, traveling, and having such a fabulous life to meet anyone.   

I'm exhausted just reading your profile!  Who has that much time?

Send a flirt:

Most guys see this as lazy and impersonal (which it probably is and I am most of the time).  A lot of them will even tell you in their profile to not expect a response from a flirt.

Send a comment/message:

What do I say to someone I don't know, never met, and is probably lying about 89% of the info on their profile.

If a guy flirts with me or sends me a message I immediately try to find him on FB.  FB does not lie.  LDS Singles may say that he is "goal oriented", "attends church frequently", or make him sound like a mushy Hallmark card but the photo's from last Friday night are telling a different story.

And don't be so forward!  Actual message I recieved:

Subject: Hey young girl,

3:30 PM on 4/30/2013

Hey young girl, you are fine and funny. I like your profile, don't fear giving others your food, I would like to eat it. I always clean my dishes same night I cook, can be doing that if we would be together. Would like to start a relationship with you. what is your mind about it?

I don't even know what half that message is about.  I can't mentally make myself respond to crap like this.

Then I will never have it all.