Confessions of a lame 30 something...

I confess . . . .

* My boss and I were talking about boyfriends the other day.

* He told me I have a wild streak somewhere inside me and I need to be careful not to let it out.

* You know what?  He's right.

* I think I do pretty good though to keep it in check.

* I'm still sulking over my money I lost at Target last week.

* Rather, money that was STOLEN.

* My new favorite song right now: Ashton Shepard "Look it up"

* Seriously, look it up.  It is catchy.

* I feel bad that my gym attendance has fallen.

* Not really, I don't miss the gym so much as I miss not losing and lb's.

* This is getting to be a serious problem.

* My friend is putting together a 30 by 30 list.

* I thought is sounded awesome and why didn't I think of that?

* Oh yeah, cuz I'm lame.

Next week no confessing for me I'll be in VEGAS!!  Redneck Nascar weekend here I come!

For the past week I have looked like this. . . .

 My favorite time of year is when Nascar comes to Las Vegas!  I'm seriously so giddy it may be illegal.  My boss accused me of already checking out last week, little does he know I checked out weeks ago.  I've started to make lists.  I ♥ lists!!  I have one huge list that is then broken up into smaller lists.  A list of what food to bring, which is then broken into a list of food I already have and a list of food to buy.  A list of what clothes to pack.  A list of electronics and chargers.  Then a list of what needs to be picked up at Wal-Mart.  Also, an auto checklist which is probably the most important because there is nothing worse than breaking down on the way to your destination.  Just puts a damper on the whole vacation.

So while I've been excitedly getting ready for the past weeks and just in general having that pre-vacation glow, whenever I mention Nascar to my friends I get this. . . .

Yes, people!  I am a Redneck and I will let my freak flag fly!

Every fat girls motto

*sigh*  I'll start tomorrow. . . .

The one where Target becomes my own personal HELL

I confess....

* It has been a rough week.  I feel like I say that a lot!

* I lost my wallet at Target   :(

*Then someone turned it in, so I got it back  :)

*But not before someone stole my cash and credit cards.  (CURSE WORD!!)

*I'm counting on karma to take care of this person.  

*If I ever find them I can't promise I won't shank them!

* Other than that the last 2 weeks have been awesome.  For no particular reason.

* I have laughed harder than I have in a long time.

* Mostly because I can't stop quoting Jersey Shore "ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER?!!"

* It makes me want to move to Jersey and become a trashy drunk.

* HAHAHAHAHA........But seriously.

School is in session

Class: Manners 101

Today's lesson: the door

Last night I had a curious encounter at the gym.  As I approached the door there was a gentleman walking about 20 or so steps ahead of me.  Right behind him and in front of me was a woman on her cell phone.  He opened the door and held it as the woman walked right through with not so much as a "thanks" or nod of acknowledgement.  Even though I was quite a ways back he stayed there and held the door for me.  As I walked through I made sure to remove my headphones and say thank you.  I also remove my headphones at the front desk because the guy there always says hi and I don't want him to think I'm rude if I happen to not hear and not return the hello.  But, headphones are a whole other lesson, this lesson is about the door.

Real simple, here's how it works people.

Guys: your job is to open the door and allow the lady to walk through. I don't care if she is 5 years old or 50, 123 pounds or 321, an A cup or double F. Get. The. Door. Do not try to hold the door awkwardly open as you stand in the door way. It makes for tight quarters and quite frankly makes me uncomfortable.

Ladies: your job is to walk through, acknowledge the gentleman holding the door for you and say "thank you". Do not under any circumstances think that because you are on an important call on your Mo-Bile that it excuses you from being polite.  Also, do not expect the door to be opened for you.  The only thing worse than a man not getting the door is a woman waiting for it to be opened for her.

Class dismissed.

Kids say the darndest things...



Yes, I am aware I am doing Friday Confessional on Monday, but I wasn't inspired to blog on Friday.

Yesterday was adventurous....to say the least.

*Sunday morning about 9:30 my cell phone rang.

*Because I don't answer numbers I don't know I wait for the voicemail to ring through.

*As I'm listening to the message I start having a little panic attack as one of the councilers in the bishopric is asking me if I got the message that they wanted me to speak in church today.

*Obviously he's joking.

*Who leaves a message for someone to speak in church?!

*Especially when said someone dropped their phone in a sink full of water a few weeks ago and so it randomly works.

*Uhhh...NO!  No, would be the answer, I did not get that message.

*I calmly called him back and told him that besides my primary class, I would not be giving any talks in church today.

*His reply "We'll get you next time"

*Good luck with that.

*After church we discover there's no sour cream in the fridge and my sister in law needs it for the poppy seed chicken.

*Being the gracious tenant that I am I volunteer to go to the store.

*Secretly I wanted to go because I needed chocolate and in a house with 5 kids there is never any chocolate.

*It's like they have a 6th sense.

*Last Sunday I found my youngest nephew hiding in my closet with 3 candy bars and a handful of kisses I had stashed.

*Later, we had our home teachers come by for a visit.

*Thats how you know its the end of the month.

*He is talking about examples and proceeds to ask Cooper, the oldest of the 5 children, if he wants to serve a mission.

*He explains that some of the choices Cooper makes are going to set the example for the younger kids,

because they'll want to be like him.

*I make a joke that his little brother Paxton is already like him because they both have big ears.

*That's who I am.  I'm the jokster.

*Until, Paxton came along.

*Paxton: "We also have matching butts."

*Yep.  THAT just happened!

*After a few minutes of literally ROFL, their mother explains they have matching birthmarks.

I'm so sad I'll be moving out soon.



Girl Code



I read a blog post yesterday that really got me thinking about some things. Basically this girl was shunned because some popular girl in school told people to be mean to her. And they listened. Read the post. It. Was. Brutal.

http://thelolaletters.blogspot.com/2011/01/30-days-of-truth-day-8.html

That's when I realized I am 32 and I still deal with middle school drama.  I have a "friend" who has a sworn mortal enemy.  We are talking Autobots VS Decepticons.  DEFCON 1 when these "ladies" run into eachother.  It gets pretty annoying because I am expected to carry as much disdain for this person as she does.  And that's a lot of baggage.  I pack light.  I'm not the type of person to hold a grudge.  I don't even hate people who have personally crossed me as much as I am expected to hate this person.  She thinks I'm not being a friend if I'm nice to this girl.  I think she's not being a friend by expecting me to act in a way not conducive to the person I aspire to be. 

So, when do you stop following girl code and start following your own moral compass?